The New, The Improved!...

Seven Wonders of the World!

In a wondrous exhibition of self-promotion, the New7Wonders organization today (07-07-07) announced its selection of seven "candidates to represent global heritage". Seven Wonders. Whose heritage, and why the previous seven wonders were no longer appropriate is not knowable. The point of it all is most likely to try to vector a few additonal feeble-minded tourists to those particular destinations. The self-appointed annointers of the new wonders had a worldwide election. Everyone could vote if they wished. Everyone, that is, with access to a computer or to a mobile phone. As it turns out, the franchise has a pretty steep poll tax The 50% or so of the people who have no access even to electricity, well, you're out of luck.
Some of the new designees were pretty much slam dunks. There is, for instance, the Great Wall of China, the largest structure ever created by man. Apparently, looking at the seven wonders, one requirement of wondrousness is that it had to have been man-made. Creations of God, sorry, don't count. Anyway, the Great Wall, which certainly is Great, wasn't actually built to be a tourist destination. It was built to defend china from Invading Mongol Hordes. As such, it proved a failure, as do all such walls. Perhaps the Great Wall of Israel, which likewise fails in its stated purpose of deterring violent incursions, will someday take its place among the NewNew7Wonders!
Then there's the Taj Mahal. Also a surefire winner. Also winner, Most Phallic Structure Ever Created. From some photos, it's possible to count as many as 17, count 'em 17 penises, all thrusting proudly upward! Clearly, the old Maharaj was somewhat of a braggart. But, after 200 years, who's to say if he was trying to compensate for, let us say, a slight flaccidity in his persona. Perhaps the marblelike quality of the Great Phalli of the Taj Mahal do no more than reflect the upthrusting quality of the man himself. In any case, the Ranee is well serv(ic)ed in her crypt.
All in all, it looks like a good set of wondrous, if man-made, destinations. At the very least, I can hope it'll make the places I go to a little bit less crowded.